The Dust Offensive

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These last couple of days, I have let my obsessive compulsive self run rampant - like vacuuming four times. Not sure why this is called a disorder - I like it.

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Since teen forces that have been drafted into service develop MP3 induced tunnel vision when cleaning, many fail to notice dust bunny agents taking cover. These rogue insurgents were no match for the M.O.M. Radar System and superior fire power from the U.S.S. Shop-Vac. On land, troops led by Mr. Clean attacked the dust bunnies that had dug in on flat surfaces. After much rinsing and wringing of the M1 Abrams cleaning rag, these sneeze inducing forces had been eliminated. In spite of a fresh lemony scent, experts have advised that the air is safe to breathe and there is no evidence of residue or proof of a rumored chemical attack by the Mr. Clean forces.

Remaining dust forces had regrouped and formed a secondary headquarters under the bed and out of the reach of the unweildy vac. Intel provided reports of socks and a book that had been taken POW and were being held in that desolate wasteland. Fears that these POWs would be used as human shields forced leaders to turn to Black Ops. Delta Force Mop with the Top Secret self wringing attachment stealthily retrieved the POWs. Commanders will neither confirm nor deny reports that the destruction of dust forces had anything to do with the recovery of POWs. Rumors of a possible coup by the minority dirt faction might explain the reports, but conspiracy theories are rampant.

Initial reports are sketchy, but more details will be fortchcoming as they are provided.